March 3 was the day we would finally meet our little guy. We had waited an extra week past Hudson's due date, but it was finally time to head to the hospital and get things moving. I had hoped to go into labor on my own, but that wasn't the case. More on why later.
We headed to the hospital at 7am on March 3. We got checked in, I changed, and got set up in our room. Was I nervous? Yes, but an excited nervous. I had done everything I could up to this point to insure a great labor and birth.
At 8:30am my midwife came in to chit chat about our plan. At first we had talked about using a balloon catheter known as the Foley Catheter to help me dilate in hopes of my body taking over and continue going into labor, but after checking me, my midwife said I was already dilated enough that the catheter wouldn't do much so she decided to break my water instead.
Well apparently I have water bags of steel. Like seriously. She could not get them to break completely and when she would break part of it there would be more of the bag bulging after it. So my water never really broke. It just leaked all throughout labor. This is also why I never went into labor on my own. Bags of steel right here. After "breaking" my water I was officially 4 cm dilated and ready to get the show on the road.
We began walking the halls, bouncing on a ball, and using a peanut ball to get labor going. It was slow going at first, but finally around 11:30am things started to pick up. Contractions became more intense and I wasn't able to talk through them. We called my doula and birth photographer and they both headed to the hospital.
Contractions continued to get more and more intense. Around 1pm Kyle and my sister headed out to the waiting room to eat lunch. Shelly (my doula) stayed with me and I swear as soon as Courtney and Kyle left, things really picked up. Contractions were strong and my tone completely changed during them. We thought for sure I was making progress with the way the contractions were going. They checked me and I was still 4cm. Discouraging doesn't even begin to explain how I was feeling. Hudson was descending, but he was coming down at an angle, not straight down, which was causing me to not dilate, but the intensity was kicking up hard and quick.
At this point I was on my side in bed laboring with a peanut ball and we decided to change things up. I got in the shower and used the shower heads to get relief on my back. All of my contractions were in my lower belly, back, and below. Having relief on my back was exactly what I needed. I labored in the shower for an hour with Kyle sitting there holding my hand, then my doula and nurse said I needed to get out so we could keep labor going. Contractions were starting to space out and we needed to keep the intensity up to hopefully make progress.
We tried a few new positions and things picked back up. We were trying everything we could to get Hudson to rotate and be straight head down. He was also partially sunny side up, which attributed to the back labor.
Very intense contractions paired with nausea and I was starting to consider an epidural. I had always said that I was open to an epidural, but wanted to have time to labor before getting it. I was getting so tired and needed to lay down. I laid on my side in the bed and continued laboring.
Hudson really needed to rotate so that he could start descending correctly, so my doula tried a position during 1 of my contractions that was so painful I couldn't take it anymore. That contraction ended up lasting a few minutes compared to 1 minute. I lost it. Tears of frustration stained my cheeks. Barely half way there and I couldn't do another contraction. I asked for the epidural.
I finally received the epidural around 3:30pm. It took some time to get it adjusted to where I was comfortable, but once they did, I could get some much needed rest. After getting the epidural just right they checked me and I was at 6cm.
I slept off and on through out the next couple hours and the epidural did exactly what we needed it to. I relaxed and my body continued to progress. It was nice to just hang out for a few hours. Everyone hung around and we talked when I wasn't sleeping.
I looked at pictures and videos of Raegan. I missed my little girl so much, but knew she was in good hands while we waited to welcome her little brother into the world.
By 9:30pm I was 10 cm and my midwife told me the amazing news that I was going to get to push. I looked at her and replied "really?" She said "yep you get to push." I immediately started crying. The dream of my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) was going to happen. I had done it.
At 9:45pm I started pushing. There was still a lip of my cervix stuck on Hudson's head so Amy (my midwife) tried to push it over his head during my contractions.
I pushed for about 30 minutes when Amy looked at me and said Hudson's heart rate was sky rocketing and we needed to do a c-section. She wasn't sure if I would need to push for 30 minutes or 3 hours and it wasn't something she was willing to risk for my VBAC. I completely agreed and I knew if Amy said it was time for a c-section, then it was time.
We even made a fun little bet of how much our sweet baby boy would actually weigh. I love having this picture to look back on. I still can't believe how big he was.
At 9:45pm I started pushing. There was still a lip of my cervix stuck on Hudson's head so Amy (my midwife) tried to push it over his head during my contractions.
I was disappointed. I had made it so far and was standing at the finish line ready to push, but the safety of my baby was more important. I also had a 103 fever and it was time to get him out.
Nurses started swarming the room as they got me prepared. They turned up my epidural and wheeled me off to the OR. I was extremely sick during Raegan's c-section. I was very nauseous, but unable to throw up since I couldn't contract my stomach muscles due to the epidural. This time I wasn't sick because they made sure to give me meds to help with it, but I also was very sleepy and out of it. I couldn't barely keep my eyes open. I could hear everything going on in the OR though.
They brought Kyle in and he sat by my head. Holding my hand the whole time. My rock.
They got started and the pressure and tugging began. It was never painful, just uncomfortable.
At 10:43pm they pulled my beautiful baby boy from me and everyone exclaimed what a big boy he was!
And big he was. 9 pounds 12 ounces.
Then I heard it. That beautiful cry. My sweet boy was here. 41 weeks of waiting and he was here. I never knew if being a mom was going to happen for me. It was something I always wanted. The desire to be a mom has always been a part of me, but I doubted whether it would ever happen. All of our waiting, all of our struggles, all of our heart break was worth it. God gave us the desires of our heart. Our son was here and I was a mom all over again.
The NICU team was there to check him out as well. When my water was broken that morning, meconium was found so the NICU team was in place just in case he had inhaled any, but he hadn't. Such a praise as I don't know if I could do another NICU stay after Raegan.
They began stitching me up and Kyle got to hold our son for the first time. He was wide awake and so alert. He kept his eyes locked on his daddy. It was love at first sight. A daddy and his son.
I was able to open my eyes for a little bit to see him, wishing I could hold him. I was so lethargic from the meds that I couldn't safely hold him until we got back to the room.
Once they were done, they transferred me back to our room. They let Hudson lay beside me in the bed as we headed back and once we got back and the meds started to wear off, I got to hold my son and nurse him for the first time.
He was a champ. He immediately latched and I couldn't believe how second nature it was to him.
Our family was able to come in to meet him and I loved seeing him be passed from person to person as they cried tears of joy and gushed over him. We were all so in love!
Even though my desire for a VBAC didn't happen, I wouldn't change anything about Hudson's birth. I did everything in my power to have the birth that we wanted, but in the end, a c-section was the safest way for him to enter the world. I couldn't have done the birth without Kyle, my doula, and my midwife. They were the best birth team a mama could ever ask for. They fought through labor with me, stood by my wishes for his birth, and helped me bring our beautiful baby boy into the world.
Thank you Elaine from Lane B Photography for sponsoring this post. Having a birth photographer was the best gift we could have given ourselves. Having these pictures will be something I treasure for the rest of my life. If you are in the Dallas area, I highly recommend Elaine. She captured Hudson's birth in a way that I will hold close to my heart forever.
Be on the look out for a photography giveaway from Elaine soon!
Photography services were provided free of charge. The content here and opinions expressed here are all my own and were not swayed.
