IVF #2 Update

Yes yes yes. I know! I'm half way through my pregnancy and am just now getting around to sharing our IVF #2 journey. Don't hate me. Being pregnant with a toddler is tough stuff! Especially when you have morning sickness all day, which I'm hoping we are nearing the end of.

So without further ado, here is our IVF #2 journey.

Keeping this IVF cycle undercover was hard! I'm a sharer. Always have been! But we kept this from everyone. I mean EVERYONE! Even our parents, which made the announcement even more sweet!

After our meeting in February with Dr. Ku he had told me I needed to stop pumping and be done for 3 months before we could do a transfer. My last day to pump was February 26 so we were good to go after May 26.

While we waited we got all of our t's crossed and i's dotted to be ready to go as soon as we were ready.

On March 30 I had an HSC and pelvic sonogram. They check my uterine lining to make sure that it is clean and ready for a transfer. Everything was perfect!

Then on April 6 I had a mock transfer. I absolutely hate these. Having to drink all that water then not being able to pee is just terribly uncomfortable on top of the fact that they were running 45 minutes behind!

A couple days later Kyle and I met with Dr. Ku to discuss FET. We have 11 embryos left. 4 are AA and 7 are BB. We decided to transfer 1 AA embryo since we transferred 1 with Raegan and that embryo took.

I also had blood drawn to check my thyroid. They wanted to be safe and check and make sure my levels were ok since I was known to have random spouts of hypothyroidism.

So I waited and waited, but still heard nothing from the RE's office. So a couple days later I called the RE's office to get thyroid results and they had lost my vial of blood. I had blood taken again and waited the weekend to get the results.

My nurse called on Monday and my levels were 6.38. What?! A normal healthy person should be no higher than 4.5. Someone who is trying to get pregnant should have a level of 2.5. Dr. Ku put me back on 50 mcg of Synthroid. Back in 2013, Dr. Ku did a thyroid test back in 2013 and my levels were 3.8. I was on it all the way through my pregnancy and my OB took me off of it after having Raegan. She sent me for a thyroid test and called and told me the level was 1.63. No need to be on it anymore. So I was shocked with how high it was. It took 3 changes in doses to finally get it under control.

They did say I will be on this medicine for the rest of my life and I am officially diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

Then began the wait to start my next cycle so I could start my estrogen and progesterone for the FET.

Finally got to order my meds on May 6. Things were getting close!

On May 18 I finally started my cycle (33 day cycle). I started estrogen and then began Progesterone on June 4 after having my lining checked and my bloodwork done.

It was finally the day! Of course I had to down 32 oz. Ugh! My stomach got upset when we got there. I must have been really nervous. I went into the restroom and everyone freaked out that I emptied my bladder and met me at the door with bottles of water. I assured them I hadn't empied my bladder. Just thought I was going to be sick. They showed us our beautiful AA embryo that was already hatching once it had been thawed. Baby was ready to be back inside mommy. We put baby back where he/she belonged and began the 2 days of bed rest. Kyle was a champ. He helped with Raegan and did all the house work. Such a great husband!

Then began the 9 day wait.

The first couple of days there was lots of cramping, which a good sign to me! I had cramping with Raegan.

3 days before the beta I decided to take a test before Kyle went to work. I ran downstairs and showed him the test. It was positive!

On Friday, June 19, I went in for my beta and it came back at 251. Wonderful!

On Sunday, which was Father's Day, we had over all of our family and shared the great news with them. Raegan wore her "B" is for Big Sister shirt.

 On June 22 my beta was 827. With Raegan at this point I was only at 119. They thought maybe the embryo split! Oy vey! Twins?

6 weeks hit and boy was I sick. Sick sick sick!!

July 13 was our first sono at 7 weeks 3 days. There was one sweet baby in there. Don't get me wrong, we would have been thrilled if I was pregnant with identical twins, but it would have been accompanied with shocked as well. They took my blood again and my TSH test came down to 1.67. Which was perfect! Baby measuring a few days ahead and his/her HR was 178.

July 21 we had our first OB sono at 8 weeks 4 days. Again baby was measuring a few days ahead and had a HR of 178.

And from there you have been in on all the happenings of this sweet baby growing inside of me. We found he was a boy at 13 weeks and we were shocked! Still can't believe we are having a son!

I am 19 weeks today and need to get my 19 week update started. Hope to have that posted by tomorrow. 18 weeks got skipped over. Oops! :)

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Donut I'd Do Without You

After we found out our IVF was successful, I knew I wanted to do a thank you gift for our RE office. They have given us our family and for that I'm eternally grateful.

As a former teacher, I always loved food gifts and I knew that was the road I wanted to take.

I started looking over Pinterest and found lots of ideas, but this one was my favorite!

I bought 2 dozen donuts, bags and ribbon from Hobby Lobby, and voila! An adorable gift to give to say thank you!

Click here to download the file!

Now I did add "The Sanderson Family" at the bottom of the tags before printing, so you can also add your family name. All you do is insert the JPEG file into a power point presentation, add a text box and your name. Make sure to change the slide size to 8.5x11" so it prints correctly! Then just print and cut out!

I couldn't have been any happier with how they turned out and the entire office was so happy for a sugar break in the afternoon when we came in! Ironically my RE had been talking all day about he was craving donuts, then I showed up! He was so excited!

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IVF Update

I know I know. It's been forever! With all good reason my friends!

IVF #2 number was successful and Raegan will be welcoming her baby bubba/sissy into the family in late February 2016!

I promise to do an IVF #2 post about all the details for my #infertilesisters who understand it all :)

I'm incredibly sick. Way more than with Raegan. Maybe it's a boy? Who knows?

Can't wait to feel better and start doing weekly updates. They were my absolute favorite with Raegan!

So far we've had 2 sonograms that have been wonderful! Measuring ahead of schedule with a strong HR of 178 both times!

 I am a little over 9 weeks and this was our first sonogram at 7 weeks 3 days. Sweetest blob you ever did see!

Come back tomorrow to see the adorable gifts I took to my RE's office when we finally graduated to my OB! They LOVED them!

IVF #1 success post

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Family Reunion 2015

Every summer my family goes down to Burnet, Texas for the annual Neff Keller Reunion. I am a Neff. That's my maiden name. It's called the Neff Keller Reunion because a Neff and a Keller got married way back when, and the rest is history! 

It's such a fun time because we get to see family that we rarely see and have a fun weekend of hotdogs, hamburgers, pina coladas, and fun in the sun!

What was even more fun was being able to take this little love bug with us.

Last year she was still on the inside.

The weekend was a blast. Raegan got to swimming and meet so many people who have been praying for her.

She wants to walk so bad!

Such a great weekend with family! Can't wait for next year! Maybe we will have another baby to take with us! Who knows? I know y'all have been dying to know about IVF #2. Still keeping it a secret ;) Ha! Sorry!

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IVF #2 Update

I know there's been some radio silence on the blog about our upcoming IVF cycle. Honestly I've been struggling on whether to blog about it or not. Our first cycle and pregnancy were very public. I even blogged our results before telling some of our family.

The last thing I shared about this cycle was that my doctor said I needed to stop exclusively pumping for Raegan for 3 months before we could do a transfer. I struggled with the decision to stop pumping because my supply was so good, but she received 7 months pure breastmilk and I am proud of that. I may not have been able to give her the full year like I wanted, but I also didn't get to breastfeed her like I wanted. Our story is not normal. Our journey to becoming parents is not normal. Our 1st year of being parents is not normal with Raegan's cleft palate. I just have to continue reminding myself about that.

So since my last update post, I have stopped pumping and and we are in our 3 month wait. I went to the doctor and had a pelvic sonogram and and HSC (all procedure before doing another IVF). Everything has checked out normal and we are good to go. This will be my last IVF update as we continue forward. Do not worry. I will let you know when we are pregnant again, but have decided to keep this next part of our journey close to the chest. One thing I've always wanted to do was surprise everyone with a pregnancy announcement. That's hard to do with IVF, especially if you are sharing every tiny detail of it.

I will continue blogging about family, fashion, and food, but won't be doing any IVF posting when/if we receive a positive. I know that everyone will respect our decision and continue praying for us as we move forward.

I love you all.

And just for kicks, I just bought these 2 adorable shirts from Loved By Hannah and Eli. For all my TTC mamas and recent new mamas, you need these shirts! They are soft and adorable!

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IVF #2

Kyle and I have always wanted our children close together.

Both of us are 2-3 years a part from our siblings and we both love it.

I can't believe it's already time to start thinking about our 2nd transfer.

I met with Dr. Ku and he wrote out our plan.

Between this period and my next I have to have a HSC, pelvic sonogram, and a mock transfer.

Then after my next period begins I will take estrogen for 14 days and then start progesterone shots for 7 days. We will do the transfer and continue progesterone shots once I'm pregnant.

He suggested getting back on prenatal vitamins and upping my dosage of folic acid. He said that the amount of folic acid that a woman is on can affect the closing of the mid line aka a cleft. He doesn't know if that's how or why Raegan has one, but he wants to cover all his bases.

So we started scheduling all of the procedures. Then he asks one more question.

"Are you breastfeeding?"

"Well I'm pumping." I replied.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but we are going to have to put your transfer off until you aren't breastfeeding anymore. Then you'll have to wait 3 months until we can do a transfer. Prolactin can make the chances of a transfer lower."

So then I was faced with the decision to continue pumping and put our transfer off indefinitely or start to ween myself off pumping and start supplementing for Raegan.

Pumping has been a daily part of my life for the past 7 months. I pump for 2+ hours a day. It is time consuming, but the best thing for my baby and I was heartbroken that Raegan couldn't breastfeed and promised I would do what I needed to do to give her the best.

I am ready to expand our family, but I am feeling so guilty that I am having to switch to formula for Raegan.

I know that she will be fine. I know that she will thrive on formula just like she would on breastmilk, but that doesn't mean the guilt isn't there.

So we have decided I am going to slowly ween off of pumping and once I've dried up we will begin the 3 month count down.

I have a milk stash that we are going to begin using, but it won't last for very long. I'm going to mix half formula and half breastmilk. I so wish I had someone to donate breastmilk to us, but I feel guilty asking for that because I am capable of producing milk, but I'm choosing to stop. So we will mix half and half until my stash is gone.

As much as I feel guilty, I am also so stinking excited to be done pumping. I'm ready to not plan my day around pumping. I'm ready to not drive while pumping. I'm ready to be done. But oh goodness, am I not looking forward to the pain of ending the pumping.

If you have any advice on weening off pumping, I would love to hear them.

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Where We Always Fall

Since we began our infertility journey, we have always fallen into the small percentage. 

Whether it was a good or bad thing.

30% chance Kyle's surgery wouldn't work. 

It didn't.

1-5% of getting pregnant on our own.

We did. 

20% chance of miscarrying.

We lost our 1st baby.

1 out of 2000 babies are born with an isolated cleft palate.

Our baby has a cleft palate.

1 out of 14,000 babies' cleft palates are linked to a syndrome called Pierre Robin.

Our baby has isolated Pierre Robin Syndrome.

1-5% chance of having another child with a cleft palate or Pierre Robin.

Only God knows.

I am scared out of my mind for our future children. We saw a geneticist for Raegan and they did genetic testing to rule out any other syndromes that go along with Pierre Robin and a cleft palate.

Her results came back normal.

They tell me not to worry.

But how can I not. Every time someone gives me the "chances" of something and end the statement with "but don't worry it's a small percentage," I can't help but scoff.

I believed what they said so many times and then we would fall into the "small percentage" yet again.

I try not to focus on all of the small percentages we have and may fall into in the future.

Because one of the best percentages we ever fell into, was the 60-70% chance of IVF success.

In the end, she is worth all of it.

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Guest Blogging

Today I am blogging over at Raising Southern Grace. 

I would love for you to stop by and check out Sydney's blog. I promise you won't be disappointed!

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Exactly One Year Ago Today...

I can't believe that it has been 1 year since finding out that our IVF cycle worked and we were pregnant!

I can still remember the emotions like it was yesterday. I woke up at 3am having to pee (good sign right?) and I knew I wanted to test before going in for my beta at the RE's office. But I knew if I peed right then, I wouldn't have to go before Kyle went to work. But I couldn't hold it anymore. So I got up and heard Kyle rustling. I asked if he was awake and when he said yes, I headed to the bathroom to take the test. I decided I needed two tests to make sure. And oh my goodness, those 3 minutes went by so slowly. I was convinced they were going to be negative. I didn't feel any different, no signs of being pregnant. But boy was I wrong! When we saw our beautiful 2 pink lines and a definite yes, I just burst into tears.

It was finally our turn. 

Our turn to make the announcement.

Our turn to hear our baby's heart beat for the first time.

Our turn to have a gender reveal.

Our turn to post weekly belly pictures.

Our turn to plan out the nursery.

Our turn to pick out names.

Our turn to welcome our little miracle into the world.

 We are so blessed by you Raegan Phair. You don't know how incredibly special you are. We can't wait to watch you grow and eventually add more miracles to our family so that you can have brothers and sisters to grow up with. We love you so much, our little sunshine baby!

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Our Infertility Journey

I know I've been MIA from the blogging world and I apologize! Some of you even checked in on me and that is so sweet! Baby and I are doing fine and I know I'm SUPER late on my week 12 update, but my computer isn't reading my camera memory card so I'm having to wait for a friend to send me my camera cord that she borrowed. So it's looking like I'm going to have to do week 12, 13, and 14 together! I was super late on week 12's update and tomorrow's is week 13 and my camera cord won't be here for at least a week. Oy vey! So to tied you over till then, here is a picture of our beautiful baby that we got to see on Friday. Look at that little nose! I could just kiss it all day long!

Also, since we started our IVF journey I have been keeping a video diary of our experiences. I got this idea from a friend of mine who also went through IVF. It was her way of sharing their story without crying. Because let's be honest, talking about our experiences and reliving the hell that we have all been through is not something we like to do. So I hope this video gives you some insight into what Kyle and I have been though and also to see our hearts and what we hope God will do through our story.

Thank you again to everyone who checked on me when I didn't post my weekly update :) I promise there will be an update as soon as I get my camera cord!

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And Then There Were Three

Yes, you are reading that correctly! We got our results and we are pregnant!

I had my beta test on Monday morning, but Kyle and I planned on taking a home pregnancy test before he left for work so that we could experience it together!

Well recently I've been having to pee alot! Good sign right? Well I woke up and had to go. I rolled over and looked at the clock and it was ONLY 3:30am!! What?! I can't hold it for another 2 hours! So then I started thinking, "well if I go now, I won't be able to go later." What to do? Well I can't hold it so I gotta go! I heard Kyle turning over while on my way to the bathroom. I asked if he was awake, he said he was. So we decided to do it right then. So I did my thing and then sat on the bed for 3 minutes. My heart was in my chest and everything we had been doing in preparation for IVF was done. This was it! We went back into the bathroom to look at the tests and this is what we found!

We were shocked! At first the 2 pink lines test didn't show the 2nd pink line, which made no sense since the digital said yes, but when we looked real close, that little pink line was there! Granted, we were half asleep so it may have been clearer had we been more awake :)

We got back in bed, but of course neither of us could sleep. So yesterday, was a tiring day since we had been up since 3:30 but we wouldn't trade it for the world!

I went in for my beta test yesterday morning and my nurse Joan knew immediately that I cheated :) I had a huge smile on my face! I just can't hide it. My beta was 50 and I'm going back on Wednesday for another beta test. They said it needs to be at least 100. Praying the baby keeps growing strong and the HCG continues to grow. I don't know if I can handle another loss. I know I know, how can I be talking about losing the baby already? It's because I've been there. I've been there when they told me by beta numbers were fine and we still lost the baby. I was there when we lost the baby 10 days after we found out.

I am guarded and I have a right to be. I'll probably be guarded for awhile. At least until the 1st trimester is over if not longer. If I can make it to 6 weeks and I can see that baby and hear the heart beat, I know I will start feeling better. At least I hope so.

But today I will rejoice in this little one's life. I came across this bible verse on Sunday and after I read it, I felt such a sense of peace. I knew God was going to take care of us and our baby.

If you are a friend or family member, we do plan to share this amazing news soon! Please keep the news to yourself and allow us to share it when we are ready!

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I have to put that where?!

Today's post I am going to into depth about the progesterone shots. This can be the scariest part of the IVF process. I know it was for me! That was until I actually did the shot. Here are my tips for you to give and take the progesterone shots with ease!

But first, let's be honest, the struggle is real, there ain't nothing sexy about shots!

See the ice pack on the counter? Ice before you give the shot!!! It really makes a difference!

when you pull the progesterone into the syringe, turn it upside down so you can climate any air bubbles. They sting a little going in! 

Whatever side you are giving the shot, lift that leg so the muscle in your toosh isn't tense.

hold onto something so you don't fall over! :)

Remember to smile!

I know, I know, how can shots be fun? The IVF process can be so serious, and sometimes you just gotta laugh! There was night when Kyle was giving me my shot, and I just started laughing hysterically. I hadn't iced as well as I should have and when he went to put the needle in, it caught me by surprise! I have no clue why, but it made him laugh and it was needed!

After the shots I always sit on a heating pad. It helps the Progesterone absorb into your muscle. It also helps you not be so sore the next day!

And to leave you with a fun little story, a friend and I went to The Melting Pot for ladies night out this past Thursday and she had mentioned I couldn't have an alcoholic drink so of course our waitress asked "Are you pregnant?" So instead of responding with, "Well we just did IVF and we are waiting to find out…" I just responded with "Yes." It was so much fun to say YES!

And at the end of dinner, our waitress brought me this adorable little plate with "Good Luck" and 2 little teddy bears, 1 blue and 1 pink! Of course, I cried! Darn hormones! It was the first time to really be considered pregnant, and I just loved it!

Our first attempt at this failed because the PINK teddy bear and the PINK safety pin fell off and the blue teddy bear was the only was left! So we are pretty confident that the baby is a boy! ;)

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