IVF #2

Kyle and I have always wanted our children close together.

Both of us are 2-3 years a part from our siblings and we both love it.

I can't believe it's already time to start thinking about our 2nd transfer.

I met with Dr. Ku and he wrote out our plan.

Between this period and my next I have to have a HSC, pelvic sonogram, and a mock transfer.

Then after my next period begins I will take estrogen for 14 days and then start progesterone shots for 7 days. We will do the transfer and continue progesterone shots once I'm pregnant.

He suggested getting back on prenatal vitamins and upping my dosage of folic acid. He said that the amount of folic acid that a woman is on can affect the closing of the mid line aka a cleft. He doesn't know if that's how or why Raegan has one, but he wants to cover all his bases.

So we started scheduling all of the procedures. Then he asks one more question.

"Are you breastfeeding?"

"Well I'm pumping." I replied.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but we are going to have to put your transfer off until you aren't breastfeeding anymore. Then you'll have to wait 3 months until we can do a transfer. Prolactin can make the chances of a transfer lower."

So then I was faced with the decision to continue pumping and put our transfer off indefinitely or start to ween myself off pumping and start supplementing for Raegan.

Pumping has been a daily part of my life for the past 7 months. I pump for 2+ hours a day. It is time consuming, but the best thing for my baby and I was heartbroken that Raegan couldn't breastfeed and promised I would do what I needed to do to give her the best.

I am ready to expand our family, but I am feeling so guilty that I am having to switch to formula for Raegan.

I know that she will be fine. I know that she will thrive on formula just like she would on breastmilk, but that doesn't mean the guilt isn't there.

So we have decided I am going to slowly ween off of pumping and once I've dried up we will begin the 3 month count down.

I have a milk stash that we are going to begin using, but it won't last for very long. I'm going to mix half formula and half breastmilk. I so wish I had someone to donate breastmilk to us, but I feel guilty asking for that because I am capable of producing milk, but I'm choosing to stop. So we will mix half and half until my stash is gone.

As much as I feel guilty, I am also so stinking excited to be done pumping. I'm ready to not plan my day around pumping. I'm ready to not drive while pumping. I'm ready to be done. But oh goodness, am I not looking forward to the pain of ending the pumping.

If you have any advice on weening off pumping, I would love to hear them.