Body Image + Pregnancy

Body image is something I think all women deal with. And when you are pregnant I think it gets worse.

I wrote a very similar post to this one back in February 2014, but it is ringing true again now so I thought I would repost it.

I can tell you when I was my most fit. It was in 2011. I had just ran my first half marathon and was consistently running and working out. I loved how I looked. These pictures are some of my favorite, but they also are tough to look at because I don't look like that anymore.

I think in my mind I still picture myself this way, but then I see pictures of myself now and realize that things have changed.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change any of the past 4 years. Those years may have been trying, but they brought us Raegan and Hudson. Even though I am grateful for both of my babies, it doesn't mean I don't struggle.

I am not complaining of gaining weight. As someone who has struggled with conceiving, I will never complain about anything associated with pregnancy. I know I need to to keep my baby healthy, but it doesn't mean I don't struggle with it every time I look in the mirror.

Then I realized that I was worshipping myself and my body. God created me and my body in his most perfect image. And I am stomping all over that.

I have become obsessed with how I look, what people think of me, and how much weight I'm gaining.

I would sit and look at my bump update pictures and touch up my double chin and try to figure out how to position my face for the next week's picture to eliminate that double chin! The maddness must stop!

It has to stop. The self destructive talk of how fat my face looks or the fact that my bum and boobs are literally doubled in size has to stop.

So to counter act the negative feelings, I have made a list of things I plan on putting into action ASAP.

1. Be thankful.

I am pregnant. God has blessed Kyle and I with a second baby that we have been praying for for a very long time. And I never want to seem ungrateful for this amazing gift.

2. Get up and move!

For the past 3 weeks I have been getting myself back into baby boot camp (3 times a week) and making myself work out. I may not feel like it, but I know that it's important for me and for my baby. If the gym is too much for you, then just get active! A walk around the block once a day is enough!

3. Be kind.

I need to start telling myself I'm beautiful and believing it. God has made me the way that I am and He does not make mistakes. I need to remind myself of this when those thoughts creep into my mind. And when Kyle tells me I'm beautiful, I need to believe it!

4. Spoil myself.

My body is changing constantly and I've decided that once a month I am going to purchase an outfit that fits me at that point in my pregnancy. We need to feel pretty at every stage of our pregnancy and having clothes that fit right and look right is so important! I hate sitting in my closet wanting to cry because nothing fits!

5. Give myself more grace.

My body is changing! It's supposed to! Things are supposed to get bigger and ya know what? It's ok! I am beautiful and you better believe I'm going to rock this bump and my gigantic tatas! :)

6. Pray.

I need to give my insecurities to the Lord. He is the only one who can make me feel better about myself and who make me see how beautiful I really am!

Will you join me in this plan? Even if you are not pregnant, but are dealing with body image. Every woman deals with her body image at some point in her life and we need to rally together and remind each other of how beautiful we are no matter our size!

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How I Lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks

First off I have to say that it is taking a lot for me to post these pictures. I have struggled with body image throughout pregnancy and after. But I know that so many moms struggle with their bodies after having their baby so I wanted to share my experience in hopes that it can help someone.

My journey to losing weight has been tough. In 2012 I gained a little more weight than I wanted. The older I got, the harder it was to keep off the weight. I wasn't in high school anymore and I could definitely see it in the way I looked. Starting in January 2013 I made a conscious decision to start working out and I get in better shape. This was the time we started trying to have a baby and I thought it could only happen. Ha! If only I knew. 

During this time I was also diagnosed with a hypothyroid, which can cause weight gain. Finally! An answer! I began taking medicine and it helped the weight gain a little.

When I started IVF in October 2013 I weighed 136. IVF does a toll on your body and can cause you to gain weight as they are stimulating your ovaries. I gained about 6-7 pounds in that 6 week period and by the time we found out I was pregnant, I had no time to lose that weight. So I started my pregnancy around 140 pounds. I gained 40 pounds with Raegan and topped off the scale at about 180 pounds.

Once having Raegan I lost 30 pounds pretty quick, but then it stopped coming off. I was pumping and was told that breastfeeding is a great way to lose weight. Well it wasn't working for me. I didn't have time to work out and had zero time to prepare healthy meals through out the day. I was having fast food at least every other day and snacking constantly. I would grab anything that was close, no matter if it was healthy or not. The weight stopped coming off, but I wasn't surprised.

I struggled with the fact that I still wasn't fitting in my clothes and needed to buy new clothes, 1-2 sizes bigger than my pre-pregnancy clothes. And I struggled with feeling attractive to my husband even though he continuously told me that I was beautiful to him. But I knew I looked different than the woman he married.

So in December 2014 I joined Baby Boot Camp. It was the first step in my journey. I am so glad I joined this group. Not only was I finally working out, but I got to take Raegan with me! Check us out in the top right hand corner :)

If you are needing a place to work out and take your kids, this is the group for you! They have tons of them all over the U.S. Google them, you won't regret it.

I started seeing a difference in my body, but the weight still wasn't coming off. So in March 2015, I decided to do an Advocare 24 day challenge. I had done one in June 2013, and knew the results it could give me.

I lost 5 pounds and 6 inches. It's not the best results ever, but I think the pictures are worth a thousand words. I mean, look at that side shot. That is a huge difference in my book!

The challenge is a great way to get your eating back on track. There are meal replacement shakes (vanilla is my favorite) and supplements to take for the 24 days. The first 10 days are the cleanse (don't worry, it's not a drastic cleanse. It's very gentle) and then the last 14 days is the max phase where the supplements are filling your body with wonderful vitamins and supplements that promote healthy living.

During the 24 days you are expected to eat healthy. That includes protein, vegetables, and complex carbs. I did have to do a little more planning for my grocery trips, but you know what? It made me think about what I was eating, and now that the 24 days is over, I STILL want to eat that way! 

For me, I wanted to start eating healthy and continue it after the challenge. This helped me do exactly that. I now have a ton of recipes to pull from for our dinners and I snack on things that are good for me.

Losing weight I feel is something all women struggle with, no matter your size. Whether you have 10 pounds, 20 pounds, or even 100 pounds, to lose, this program can get your started! It will change your body but also give you the tools you need to be successful in your weight loss journey.

Check back in a few days for everything I ate during the challenge (recipes included!)

Have questions about the challenge or want to try yourself? Email me I'd love to help!

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Appointment Update

Well I just got home from my 30 week appointment. It was supposed to be a routine appointment. Kyle wasn't coming because our last appointment literally lasted 5 minutes, so there was no reason for him to come this time. Boy was I wrong!

I was called back and they weighed me like normal. I covered my eyes like I always do, but I was interested to see how much I had gained in the past 2 weeks. We've been walking a mile every night and I am doing an arm workout daily too. So when she told me I had gained FIVE pounds I literally almost fell off the table. The nurse tries to make me feel better by saying you gain a lot at the end, but it didn't make me feel any better. I had been trying so hard to be active and then this boom was lowered.

So then my OB walked in. She tells me that 5 pounds in 2 weeks really worries her and then she tells me how much I've gained total. A number I didn't want to know. THIRTY pounds! Oh my gosh!! Are you kidding me? She tells me that she was surprised I passed my glucose test at my last appointment with how much weight I've gained. She then tells me that she only wants me to gain 10 more pounds for the ENTIRE pregnancy. (yeah right!) She wants me to watch what I eat and google "diabetic diets while pregnant" because I need to watch what I eat. No crazy crash diets, but a diet.

Ugh. I feel so defeated. I know I've been gaining weight. I can feel it. My clothes don't fit. Yes, my PREGNANCY clothes, don't fit! I had to buy new clothes in a bigger size. But the hits kept coming.

She wants to do a growth sonogram at my next appointment to check on Reagan and if she's measuring big she may want to induce at 38-39 weeks. When she measured my belly it was measuring at 31-32 weeks. I'm almost 30 weeks.

This breaks my heart. I haven't talked about this on the blog because everyone is entitled to their own birth, but Kyle and I want to do a natural birth and have been taking a Bradley Birthing class for the past 8 weeks. We are so excited about this and are so ready for it! That is, if I'm not induced. When you're induced your body is forced to dilate before it's ready and brings on crazy contractions that are stronger than a normal labor. It's very unlikely to get through an induced labor naturally.

So pretty much I feel like I've failed my baby by gaining so much weight. I should have watched what I ate. I should have put that cookie back. I should have had more self control.

My next appointment also had to be pushed back an extra week and a half because the sono tech is only in on Mondays and in 2 weeks that Memorial Day. Just annoying.

Praying I can stick to healthy eating because I have no self control. I LOVE food! Any extra prayers that I can stick to it and that baby is measuring on track instead of ahead would be greatly appreciated.

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Body Image + pregnancy

As someone who has struggled with body image, pregnancy has thrown me for a loop!

Everyone is built differently and for me, my body frame is small so alittle bit of extra somethin' somethin' makes a huge difference.

For me I was always able to maintain my weight, but after college, and no longer having my crazy freaking fast metabolism (darn getting older), it made it a lot harder.

I had to work at staying at the weight I wanted to be. Then the curse of hypothyroidism hit and so did infertility. Hormones were started and I really had NO control over my body and how I gained weight, even with watching what I ate and working out.

When we found out we were pregnant I was about 5 pound shy of what I wanted my MAX pregnancy weight to be!

I struggled with the fact that I was STARTING my pregnancy at the weight I wanted to be at 9 months pregnant.

Now, I am not complaining of gaining weight. As someone who has struggled with conceiving, I will never complain about anything associated with pregnancy. I know I need to to keep my baby healthy, but it doesn't mean I don't struggle with it every time I look in the mirror.

My face was bloated from all the progesterone shots and my body was bloated from the process of IVF. I was starting my pregnancy big. I started showing VERY fast, but it didn't look like a pregnant bump. It just looked fat.

Then I realized that I was worshipping myself and my body. God created me and my body in his most perfect image. And I am stomping all over that.

I have become obsessed with how I look, what people think of me, and how much weight I'm gaining.

I would sit and look at my bump update pictures and touch up my double chin and try to figure out how to position my face for the next week's picture to eliminate that double chin! The maddness must stop!

It has to stop. The self destructive talk of how fat my face looks or the fact that my bum and boobs are literally doubled in size has to stop.

So to counter act the negative feelings, I have made a list of things I plan on putting into action ASAP.

1. Be thankful.
I am finally pregnant. God has blessed Kyle and I with a baby that we have been praying for for a very long time. And I never want to seem ungrateful for this amazing gift.

2. Get up and move!
For the past 3 weeks I have been getting myself to the gym (3-4 times a week) and making myself work out. I may not feel like it, but I know that it's important for me and for my baby. If the gym is too much for you, then just get active! A walk around the block once a day is enough!

3. Be kind.
I need to start telling myself I'm beautiful and believing it. God has made me the way that I am and He does not make mistakes. I need to remind myself of this when those thoughts creep into my mind. And when Kyle tells me I'm beautiful, I need to believe it!

4. Spoil myself.
My body is changing constantly and I've decided that once a month I am going to purchase an outfit that fits me at that point in my pregnancy. We need to feel pretty at every stage of our pregnancy and having clothes that fit right and look right is so important! I hate sitting in my closet wanting to cry because nothing fits!

5. Give myself more grace.
My body is changing! It's supposed to! Things are supposed to get bigger and ya know what? It's ok! I am beautiful and you better believe I'm going to rock this bump and my gigantic tatas! :)

6. Pray.
I need to give my insecurities to the Lord. He is the only one who can make me feel better about myself and who make me see how beautiful I really am!

Will you join me in this plan? Even if you are not pregnant, but are going through IVF or hormones and are dealing with your body image. Every woman deals with her body image at some point in her life and we need to rally together and remind each other of how beautiful we are no matter our size!

**This is not a post to ask for compliments. It is a post that I hope can encourage other women who are struggling with their body image. I am slowly learning to accept my growing and changing body and I hope that this helps you do the same**

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