After a long labor we finally had our little girl to hold in our arms! Within 10 hours though, our world was turned upside down. The pediatrician came in to do her assessment of Raegan around 11am and as she was looking her over she said the words,
Did they say anything about Raegan after she was born?
Um, no.
Raegan has a cleft palate.
Come again?
We have been through the ringer to have this baby. We had to do IVF. I went through 28 hours of labor, 8 of which were completely natural on pitocin, and it all still ended in a c-section. Nothing was going according to plan and now you're telling me my baby has a cleft palate?
I cried as I held her, saying over and over "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry baby." I couldn't protect her anymore. She was no longer inside of me, safe from harm.
The doctor said the birth team must have missed it when she was born because it was far back in her mouth and very small. She showed us with a light and there it was. A tiny little cleft that was literally tearing me up inside. She shared with us that it could be fixed with surgery once she was older.
I honestly don't remember much of what the doctor said after that. I just kept crying and holding her close. Little did I know this was just the beginning.
The pediatrician left and we shared with our family Raegan's diagnosis and knew it was just a small bump in the road. We had been through much worse before. We continued our day of loving on our baby. She got her first bath, Kyle changed his first diaper, and we put her in her first outfit.
But that evening around 5pm, Raegan had trouble breathing. When babies who are born caesarean, they sometimes have mucus in their stomach that was expressed since they didn't go through the birth canal. They had told us about this, but when my baby started gasping for air and started turning blue, I lost it. I still had my epidural in and couldn't move. My mom scooped her up and Kyle took the bulb syringe and started suctioning the mucus out of her air way. They cleared her airway and she began breathing normal again. We called the nurse and she came in and took Raegan to the nursery to be looked over.
After about 30 minutes, I called the nursery and asked them to bring her back to me. The nurse came in, but she didn't have Raegan. She shared with us that they found out she has jaundice and she would need to stay in the nursery overnight to be under the light. They would bring her to me every 3 hours to feed, but she would have to stay there for now.
Alright, cleft palate, and now jaundice. We have to be done right?
They brought her to be every 3 hours and we tried to nurse, but she wasn't catching on. Part of having jaundice is needing adequate nutrition to help your liver flush out the jaundice, but baby girl wasn't eating. So they had to put a feeding tube in. And protocol is if a baby needs more than 2 feedings through a feeding tube, they have to be admitted to the NICU.
So the next time I saw my baby that's where she was. I stood and cried by her crib side as she sat under the lights with a food tube in her nose.
Since Raegan had a cleft palate we found out she couldn't eat from a regular bottle or the breast because the hole in the back of her mouth wasn't covered when she swallowed. She needed to learn to eat from a special bottle that had a long nipple so that when she sucked from it, she would push it up with her tongue and the nipple would cover the cleft palate. But it was going to take time for her to learn.
She started taking small amounts and then she would need the rest of the formula given to her through her feeding tube. She would expend so much energy on eating that she was burning more calories than she was taking in. I was pumping every 3 hours and getting as much as I could, but my milk didn't come in until the day I left the hospital. So we had to supplement with formula until it did.
We continued working with her.
But Wednesday rolled around (my discharge day) and she wasn't where she needed to be, so we had to go home without her.
I walked out of the hospital without my baby. As we left another family was leaving with their baby. I lost it. I cried as we walked to the car knowing that we would be living at the hospital until we could take her home.
We had been home an hour and we got a call from the doctor. They were transferring our baby to a hospital that could adequately take care of her, Medical City of Dallas. This hospital they were sending her to was the best of the best and could help her more than the hospital we were at.
She had her first ambulance ride at a few days old. I rode in the front and arrived at the hospital. We got her settled and continued working with her. We met the doctor who would be doing her surgeries eventually to fix her cleft palate and met with the NICU doctor. He was very optimistic and expected her to only be in the NICU for a week or less. Being at the NICU at Medical City of Dallas was a big change. At Baylor Frisco, where she was born, we had our own private room in the NICU, but now, we had to share a room with another baby. It was very cramped. I wanted my baby out ASAP.
She was admitted to Medical City Dallas on Wednesday and we continued working with her on eating from her special bottle.
She continued to get better and better and by Saturday she was eating her whole bottle without the need of the feeding tub, and the doctor told us, if she continued this for 48 hours we could take her home! As you can tell, Kyle and I were so excited at her progress!
Well girlfriend, stepped up and continued taking her bottles like a champ and we got to take our sweet girl home on Monday, August 3.
yes, they had to wheel me out in a wheel chair even though I hadn't been in the hospital for almost a week. Protocol apaparently. |
We are enjoying having her home as we get used to being a family of 3.
Raegan's first meal at home. Allie being a protective big sister. |
oh those cheeks! |
We see her craniofacial doctor (the doctor that will do her surgery to fix her cleft) today. Praying everything goes well and I will post an update once we know more.
I'm so sorry about her diagnosis. I'm sure it was heartbreaking for you to hear, especially after everything you have been through. But I know that you love her unconditionally and that will get her through anything! I'm glad she didn't have to spent too much time at the hospital. She is a doll! Best of luck at your the appointment today.
ReplyDeleteWow after reading the first post I thought things had gone well but it sounds like ya'll have had a rough start. I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this but glad to hear she is doing better now :) Keeping all of you in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to experience this. I'm glad she's doing better and hopefully everything goes swell from here on out.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs girl! How stressful that all sounds! I am so glad baby girl is home with you know and I'm glad to hear everything will be just fine. She's adorable. I can't help but smile when I see her sweet face! Congratulations! I'm glad you got the wheelchair ride out WITH your baby!
ReplyDeleteShe is absolutely beautiful! So glad that she's home with you.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that she is home and ok... good luck with the next doctor, she is a cutie!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe all that you went through! I'm so glad you have her home now! Her cheeks are just the cutest thing EVER!
ReplyDeleteAllie looks SO happy! :) My dogs are going to be jealous!
Bless you for keeping it together during the rocky start. SO happy that she's home and doing better now and you are already on top of getting her set up with the best docs to help her. She really is just gorgeous. That pic of you feeding next to Allie is ADORABLE!
ReplyDeleteRaegan is beautiful!!! I know how hard it is to have to leave the hospital with your baby(ies) staying behind. Nothing in my life was more difficult than that day. I'm SO happy you are all home together and I will be praying that all goes (went) well at Reagan's doctors appt. XO
ReplyDeleteOh man! What a lot to handle in the days after giving birth- it's enough of a transition to begin with! It sounds like you have a great team working with you and that in the end everything will work out (not that it isn't overwhelming right now). You look great! Get lots of rest and enjoy your time with her!
ReplyDeleteaww she is beautiful! congratulations
ReplyDeleteAw, girlie- my heart is going out to you. I'm sure things have settled down since you posted this but I've been praying for all of you since I read on instagram of the new blip that was thrown your way. Many, many, many hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm already on edge since most twins have to spend time in the NICU and I'm not a fan of hospitals the way it is- it has to be muuuuuuch harder when you have all the mommy bear instincts going on as well! Hoping you are all doing wonderfully & that the meeting with the doctor went REALLY well! Hugs & prayers!!
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